Today i spent my last morning in group therapy. My last group mindfulness, my last questionable coffee and the last time studying the phallic stain on the ceiling.
I have spent a year and a half studying what i now refer to as the bible. Every week, for 2 & 1/2 hours.
I have met girls like me and girls not like me, but we are all sisters in BPD. We have all fought everyday to become smarter and live better, make the right choices and learn we have control over our own future, we don’t have to do what our illness tells us.
I cannot quite believe how far i have come. Those who know me will know how much of a hard time i can have when its bad, and i hope they can see the difference in me now.
Just over 2 years ago i was in hospital, doped up on benzos and anti psychotics, wondering what the point of living a life with my illness was.
DBT has saved me. It has given me the knowledge and tools to better understand my emotions, reactions and thoughts.
Because of DBT i can now make plan to live a life worth living. I can go to college, find a job, save for a house and start a family. I don’t have to live anymore with a dark cloud following me waiting for me to stop walking.
It has been a really hard road, i have been stubborn and have relapsed more than i can count on one hand during my time in group, but its all worth it to finally know who i am. I am not a person on the borderline, i am not a person with no personality, i am not a diagnoses, or a type, or a cluster.
I am a brilliant, strong woman who can do anything she puts her mind too.